The moon's a balloon

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I did manage to find my way to the gym this morning for an erg workout:

         30mins plus a bit
         About 7500 metres
         2:05 average pace
         30 seconds at 1:45 pace
         1 minute at 1:38-1:41 pace
      
        6 minutes of spinning on exercise bike at 90rpm
        Go home, eat oats with maple syrup (brown sugar all gone).

I felt invigorated for most of the day, but lagged a bit in the afternoon, although adrenaline was slightly elevated anyway, due to some deadlines. 

With a 50min + run after work, I caught the waning twilight, the purple horizon and the moon like a balloon, so small in the sky it seemed restrained from floating away by the hand of a child with a string.  Although cool, there was a serenity to the windless darkness as that moon aloft spilled its halloween reflection on the gently rippling water, even as the sillouettes on Cook Street,  displaying their once-yearly altered personas, mingled among parents with their children in witches hats, the most popular of costumes, bottling the sidewalks; I circumnavigated them on my way.

Now at 10:15, the firecrackers are incessant, punctuated by the eerie sound of sirens...

Monday ruminations

Monday, October 30, 2006

Today the run clinic participants did 5mins running/1min walking X 7.  There were a few more that were running with me than last week, and I am starting to see some noticeable improvements in their breathing and apparent fatigue levels.  For me I actually love these workouts, which are very easy for me, since they are the perfect little recovery efforts.  They really are what I should be doing when doing recovery runs. 

Marie-Claude Poirier, triathlete and chiropractor, was out to give a talk on cross-training, focussing her talk primarily on the injury prevention and muscular benefits of cross-training.  I'd never met Marie-Claude before, athough I recall that she was the top woman at the Juan de Fuca duathlon this year.

Starting tomorrow I hope to begin a routine of morning ergometer workouts prior to work, and to run in the evenings. I just did the pinch test of my behind, and if I don't start stepping up the quantity of training just a tad, I may starting expanding exponentially.  And if I don't split the workouts I almost certainly won't do enough ergometer training to get halfway fit for the erg race in Jan (or whenever it is - I haven't found out yet).  At the moment, I don't plan to ride much until mid January, either, and will just build a running base until then.  By then, I should also have a pretty good handle on the Iolanthe rehearsals and will likely be able to afford to increase the training and be tired for rehearsals without too much worry (I hope).  The Iolanthe production will be my primary focus, however, until March.

Metchosin 'cross

October 29, 2006

In this case "cross" refers to cyclo-cross.  Part of the Island race series, the Luxton fairgrounds in Metchosin hosted today's cross event, the day after Provincials were held in Vancouver, won by Geoff Kabush, who also won the elite race today, followed by Matt Hewitt and Troy Woodburn.  Wendy Simms of Nanaimo, elite female competitor, rode with the elite men, while the full women's race was held earlier (which I missed).  The race featured one log jump, one set of stairs to run up, a three-barrier obstacle, several little tight downhill and uphill turns, a "whirligig" (see photos), lots of grass and gravel.  Sky was clear, but air was cool and breezy.

After a 1:20 easy run this morning up the waterfront on a windy morning, I met up with Bruce, who lives near the Luxton Fairgrounds, to watch the race.  Bruce brought along their newborn, Sophie, to the race.  I borrowed Bruce's camera to take a few shots, some of which are below. 

Up and over the log-jump


Up the stairs, down the turn


Wendy Simms takes a tight corner


Some cyclists are snappy dressers


Menno Hubretgse of Nanaimo on the down, while big Brock looks on


Norm Thibault (?)


Through a gazebo obscurely


Through the whirligig (1)


Through the whirligig (2)


Over the barriers


Geoff Kabush, Olympian, on his way to Victory

Where late the sweet birds sang

Saturday, October 28, 2006

In Victoria there are still a few leaves clinging to trees.  Some are even green, but the boughs are showing through more boldly now, and with every breeze a few more leaves are flicked and cast fluttering in resignation to the ground.  From there the dewy grass, like outstretched arms, embrace them as they fall, where together they cling, while the leaves, turning up their faces, catch water from the sky for a while before they brown and brittle under the sun some cloudless day and are scattered by the cool autumn winds, or when they are raked and gathered by parents and their laughing children and thrust into garbage bags, or blasted to the gutters by the leaf blowers with their power vacs and hoses.  Where ever they go, eventually they sodden, disintegrate, and invigorate the earth anew with organic riches.

Today I did about 10miles at the lakes - out to just past the 8km mark one way, and back again from there.  Time was 68 minutes, just a bit faster than 7min mile pace, which felt quite gentle.  I have decided not to pace Cliff tomorrow in the Shawnigan Lk half, as it would still be quite a fast pace for me, and it isn't what I should be doing right now.  I will run though, but it will be another run like today. 

Yesterday, I ran on the treadmill for 20mins, just a bit faster than 8min mile pace, noting my HR at about 118 for the effort,

     10 mins on the rowing erg (avg 2:10 pace)

and 5 minutes spinning on the exercise bike (HR < 100). 
______________________

That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.

    -- Shakespeare, Sonnet 73

A double (blog post, that is)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

As every star in all the cosmos is my witness, I won't be typing away at 4:00 in the morning this night.  I don't plan to make a habit of that.  Funny how, after returning to my slumber after writing at that late/early hour last night, I slept soundly until about 7:00 and felt quite refreshed when I awoke.   Nonetheless, the annals of the self-therapist and his patient will find their way into these posts from time to time, I'm sure - rather like how the gypsy cyclist surfaces every now and again, I suppose. 

This evening I ran about seven miles or a shade over perhaps, with two one-mile efforts around Beacon Hill.  The first was in 5:23, while the second was a bit of an oddball effort, since I had stopped only for a few seconds after the first just when a group of runners started a one mile interval; when they started, I jumped onto the back of them and ran a bit slower with the trailers, and then picked it up to catch the two fellows at the front by the end, one of whom was Simon Dejongh (having forgotten his name at the time, and just remembering it now).  Total time for the two miles was 11:20something.  That included some walking and some slower running at the start of the second lap, so the actual run pace for that lap was likely a bit faster than the first.

I hadn't initially thought to do any sort of harder efforts today, but I may help pace Cliff a bit for the Shawnigan Half, with no intention of racing it myself though; so I still need to know if I can hold any sort of decent pace, which was the motivation for a two mile effort.  I think I can rely on whatever base fitness I have to pace Cliff through a 1:18.30, or thereabout.

3:25 am

Wednesday night/ Thursday morning, October 26, 2006

That monitor screen is awfully bright at such an ungodly hour.  But, sleep is escaping me at the moment, and I might as well publicize some sleep-inducing self-talk.

The self-therapist and the patient:

Cause of sleeplessness?
    Anxiety.

Anxiety? Toward? 
    Oh, you know, the impostor issue...

Tell me more about it...
  hmm - let's see, at yesterday's rehearsal, all sorts of comments/discussions arose...

Such as? 
    One person - he evidently had not heard who all had received principal roles - he asked me if I had auditioned.  Yes, I said.  Did you get in? He asked.  Umm, yes, I said. I did.  Another person, standing nearby, filled the first in on the details. 

The details?
    Oh, you know, said I how I got the Strephon role.

And?
    I didn't really want to see the person's response so I sort of tip-toed away. 

Oh? You tip-toed away?
    yah.

Ok. Other examples?
    Another fellow asked me what I sang for the audition, saying he had heard that I had won the part.  I told him, "Good morrow, good mother."

What's wrong with that?
    Well, I didn't really "win" the part.  I was the only one who auditioned for it. 

But there was an audition committee there, was there not?
    Yes.  Four people on the committee.  A piano player.  No, but that's not it.  I have to tell you that I asked people last week: did they have to take me?  No, people said.  If they didn't like you they wouldn't have taken you, just because you were the only to audition.  It happened a few years ago, someone said, the committee didn't like anyone who auditioned, and they put out another casting call.

Does that give you no comfort?
    To a point.  But another asked me what training I have.  No formal training, I said.  Three beginner's sight reading lessons about eight years ago, some spotty church chorus singing about ten years ago for a few Sundays, and three voice lessons. 

hmmm
    What?

Oh nothing, carry on.  Tell me more.
    Tell you more?  Of what?  What did you mean by "hmmm"? 

Well, obviously you don't have much of a track record, do you?
    No. 

Then you have a lot to prove then, don't you?
    What sort of a therapist are you?

Are you getting some help? 
    Yes, Kathleen West, who does the piano and has been directing the rehearsals for the upcoming concert, keeps telling me to come to her.  Scott and Tim have both offered to help me too.

You're not telling me something...
    What do you mean?

I can tell.  I'm a trained therapist.  Let it out.  It's safe in here. 
    No, that's really about it.  Anxiety. 

Something specific.  There's more.  I know there is.  Tell me.
    hmmm let's see.  Well, for example Tim, who sung Strephon with the VSO several years ago, was saying how it was really a baritone's part.  You're a tenor? he asked.  More naturally a tenor, I think, but I can sing the baritone, I said.   Some of the notes are quite low, said Tim.  And he sang one of them, as if to prompt me to repeat the line with the low note. 

And?
    I didn't want to sing the line in front of him.  I was afraid of what would come out.  I sang that very line at the audition, so I know I can sing it.  But I just didn't want to repeat it so informally like that, right in front of him. 

Why is that a problem?
    Because I think he may have wondered, why are you not repeating the note? He looked at me as if to say, sing the note, I want to hear if you can do it. 

hmm
    What "hmmm"? 

Oh nothing.  Tell me more.
    Well, same thing happened last week.  Scott did the same thing to me.  Different line.  I didn't want to repeat it in front of him. 

hmm
    Would you stop that? 

Sorry - "hmm" is a neutral note.  I mean, that's a neutral sound.  I'm merely acknowledging what you say.  I'm not judging what you tell me.
    Ok thanks. 

Anything else?
    I need to go to sleep.

What? Oh that's right.  It's now 4:05 am.  Go to bed.  Tell me more later. 
    Ok.  Good night.

No possible doubt whatever

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

After work I rushed out to pick up a new black suit at Tip Top Tailors before it closed at 5:00.  I was trying to find a second hand one on the weekend, but it was hopeless trying to find something my size, and it will not hurt me to have another suit, so I decided to buy a new one, which I will use in the VSO/G&S pops concert coming up at the end of next week.

After some "cramming" on the weekend, I actually now feel ready for the performance next week (note this is the pops concert for which I am in the chorus - it is not until next March that I will have one of the main roles in Iolanthe).  Apparently at least one of the three shows next week at the Royal is nearly sold out.  

Also, when I stopped at Norma Gee's (of the G&S Society) for her to do some fitting of another of my costumes for the upcoming performance and for my role as Strephon next spring, I learned that it is looking like two of the March Iolanthe performances will be in Sidney, while one will be at the Macpherson, the other of the two major theatres in Victoria.  So, it's definitely shaping up to be significant event. 

I also managed to slip out for just over an hour of steady running at a relaxed but quickish pace, perhaps just a bit slower than 40min 10k pace.  It has been well over two weeks since I ran an hour or more and, when I started, I wondered if I wanted to go that far.  But soon I was lulled into the "zone" wherein that mild sense of euphoria exposes itself, and an hour of that is more than tolerable.  It was nearly dark when I returned home, and I am frankly not looking forward to a winter of dark evenings, as I never do at this time of year.  Of course I always come to accept it, as one must. 

_______________

And of that there is no manner of doubt
No probable, possible shadow of doubt
No possible doubt whatever,
No possible doubt whatever.

-- from Gondoliers, Gilbert & Sullivan

Erg lessons

Monday, October 23, 2006

Today the run clinic group did 8 X 4mins running:1min walking.  I could see how the total of 32 minutes of running was a fair amount for most of them, although they all handled it nicely.  A small group of three others ran with me at a pace a bit faster than the others. 

Prior to the start Andrea Carey from Frontrunners was invited to talk about motivation. She discussed goal setting and keeping in tune with why you run.  One fellow asked me about what motivates me, and I mentioned being an asthmatic child and overcoming my asthma by gradually increasing fitness and eventually making training part of my lifestyle and a part of what defines me as a person.

Afterward, Ben joined me for some erg rowing at the Oak Bay rec centre.  He schooled me in a 2000m time trial:
          
           Ben -  6:37
           Hugh -7:00 


The man has some serious talent!  Ben did some University rowing a few years ago, and has about 20 pounds on me, which will help him, but regardless that is real talent.  He hasn't done any rowing for a few years, while that was my third time on the machine in the last few weeks. He'd also just done a one hour backstroke workout at the pool.

Ben maintained a fairly even 1:38 - 1:41 pace (I was watching out of the corner of my eye), while I dropped steadily from a first few strokes around a 1:41 pace to barely hanging on to 1:47, and actually slowed right down to below 2:00 for a few seconds at around 1300m when I was really dying.

Interesting, though how afterward we tried a few strokes at max effort and I could hold 1:29pace for a few strokes, while Ben held only 1:31 for about the same time.  I did a total of about 10000 meters, while Ben did a bit less.

We've decided we're going to do a fair bit more erg work through the winter.

On Sunday, I did a single loop around the lakes in 40mins, and it didn't feel easy, although it was relaxed.  I didn't feel a great urge to do any more.  On Saturday I did a 50min run first thing in the morning, and an hour and a half of spinning in the afternoon with Susan, a friend visiting from Vancouver for the day.

Impostors R Us

Saturday, October 21, 2006

As a comment to my blog post "The pendulum of certainty and doubt", Demian suggested my feelings typified the Impostor Syndrome: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_Syndrome .

In reading more about it, I see that this makes sense to a point, but then the connection breaks down.  According to the definition, one with the syndrome is unable to internalize their successes, feeling they are a fraud or very lucky, even in the face of contrary evidence.  For example a PhD might feel she is undeserving of her success, that she is a fraud and could be exposed as one at any time. 

But in my case there is a real difference - there really is no evidence of my success!  A ten minute audition can hardly be counted as evidence for the capability to sustain an entire performance competently.   Prior to the audition, we were asked to fill out an information sheet that included spaces for descriptions of past stage or musical experience.  I could put nothing down, and the spaces were left blank. 

Before my audition, two different people came to me and asked me to complete the form, as the only things on it were my name and telephone number.  I looked at them, sheepishly no doubt, and explained there was nothing for me to write in those spaces.  The first person looked at me quizzically, while the second chuckled. 

You see, the difference between a person with Impostor Syndrome and a true impostor, is that the one with the syndrome can fully complete the blank spaces.  The true impostor cannot.  Therefor I am not just one with the syndrome, rather I am a true impostor.  The burden rests with me to produce evidence to the contrary.

But while it is a heavy burden, there is a growing sense that I am and will be driven fervently to release that burden. When the performances are done, then (but only then) there will be evidence of my success, and finally I will be an impostor no more.

Mulling objectives

Thursday, October 18, 2006

A shade over forty minutes of running today felt quite fantastic, which marks my first real run (aside from some slow treadmill running yesterday) since the Half two Sundays ago.  It was interesting to be reminded of my own natural running style: the length of my stride, how I plant my feet and hold my posture; the way I swing my arms and the asymmetry in my shoulder movements due to a shorter right clavicle that resulted from breaking it in a bike race many years ago.  In a strange way it was as if I was running with an unfamiliar body; it seemed very new to me.

This intimate awareness of every working part is a sensation that's long been dulled, and it is only after hardly running for the better part of two weeks that I am suddenly hyper-aware of my running mechanics.   I imagine that, as I increase my training again, awareness of the varying degrees of aerobic discomfort will over-ride the profound awareness of my bodily motions I felt today. 

Generally everything felt fluid, and the deep tissue massage I had on Tuesday at Shelbourne Physical Therapy (which was quite painful for much of it) I think has helped me to resume my run training with nicely balanced muscle tissues. 

At the moment I don't have any real training objectives.  With my new commitment to the Iolanthe performance next spring, I need to re-think what my racing goals may be for the next six months.  For now I think I will just gradually build running mileage with a ride once a week and some ergometer work for cross-training.   I'll see how much time I'll have and give some thought to my training goals for next year over the next few weeks.  Short course du worlds is out, that much I'm certain of, and I may wish to focus for a while just on running - and perhaps later just on cycling - but I still don't know.

Hiding in shoes

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

So today at work I voted for a shoe to be one of the top 5 worst places in the world to live, only slightly worse than a hole in the ground, because a shoe is probably stinkier.  I don't really have a good idea what the other three worst places to live might be, but I think a shoe would be fairly even with, say, the Antarctic circle or Fort McMurray...

Today on the treadmill I managed my first continuous run since the Half marathon two Sundays ago.  It was a mere 20 minutes at 8 min/mile pace.  Feeling the need for a bit of harder effort, though, I then gravitated to the rowing ergometer:

    10 minutes at 2:05 / 500m pace (avg), stroke rate 18-20;
    The last 30 seconds were at 1:38 - 1:40 pace, stroke rate 28-30 I think.

I've indented the stats for easy reference should I want to chart my progress starting from zero a few days ago.  If I could hold 1:38 pace or a shade faster for 2000 metres I could meet the erg world championships qualifying standard.  I think I would need to be doing 30second intervals in about 1:30 though to be able to hold 1:38 for 6.5 minutes, which I think would be quite hard to do, and I would need to train quite seriously for that. 

I hopped on the exercise bike for 5 minutes afterward, with some stretching afterwards.

Shortly afterward I zipped down for the Wednesday Gondoliers/Iolanthe practice - still a bit shaky on a few parts with two weeks to go before the pops concert performance.  At least in a chorus you can hide - if you're singing solo parts, you can't...yikes!

The pendulum of doubt and certainty

Monday, October 16, 2006

There was a moment at about 3:00 am last night when I awoke rather with a start, eyes wide, staring into the grainy darkness of my bedroom, wondering what I have just gotten myself into.   My elation from last evening soured into doubt and fear. What makes you think you can do this? I thought.  Somehow I managed to pull off a ten minute audition, but how do you go from a spotty chorus singer with zero solo experience to singing a major part in a light-opera?  Granted I think the audition could not have gone better - my voice seemed primed after some warmups, and I was relaxed.  Too, I wouldn't have auditioned at all if I didn't conclude (after much doubt, mind you) that I could do this, and do it well. 

But I certainly had a fright during the night and even today, when my voice seemed raspy and tired (almost as though it "peaked" yesterday and is now fatigued and sore and in need of recovery), I wondered if my voice could even hold out for an entire performance, let alone whether I could actually sing the pieces well.  I tried singing one of the songs that involves a higher note than any in the audition piece, and it sounded like fingers on a chalkboard, and I couldn't even seem to hit the starting note properly. I'm still wondering what I've done.

But the die is now cast - I'm in it for better or for worse. It will be what it will be.
_______________

Due to last Monday being a holiday, there was no running clinic then.  So today was the first run for the group in two weeks.  The workout was 10 X 3mins running/1 min walking.  The group at the front that I was leading did around 5km, while the slower runners will have done a bit less.  It's hard to know what progress they are making, since I tend to think the ones I'm running with have long been capable of at least that much and more.   The group is splitting up though, and I'm guessing the most benefit has been experienced by some of the slower runners behind.  

Prior to the run, a massage therapist came in to talk about injury prevention to the group, as well as providing some interesting insights into the benefits of massage therapy.  It's great being a run leader, since you get the benefit of hearing all these knowledgeable people for free!

Update!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

I can scarcely believe it!  I left for some groceries, and while out Elizabeth Sly of the Gilbert & Sullivan Society called to offer me the role of Strephon!!!  I am truly thankful and incredibly happy about this. For me this is marks a profoundly significant moment in my life.  Here it changes - in practical terms for six months, possibly in terms of other roles later, but most importantly in terms of my character and how I define myself as a person.  It opens up a part of me that has yearned for so long to be exposed.  I could not be happier at this moment! Yes, this is fantastic news!!  Now the hard work begins!

Iolanthe audition

Sunday, October 15, 2006

At 5:30 in the evening, the sun has made a full appearance after remaining tucked away most of the day.  But it is low in the sky, and it's appearance now in that position suggests there are few days left when the sun may be viewed during evening hours.   Green leaves remain abundant, but they too are weakening and appear ever less robust with each passing day, while purples and yellows fleck the trees or fill them brightly. 

This morning, riding with Ben, we picked the perfect window of time to go.  It had been raining with ferocity before 10:30 but ceased for a couple of hours and, at about 12:30, after I had returned home, it resumed its relentlessness.  Now, of course, the sun has appeared, and perhaps the days ahead will be pleasant. 

At last I had my audition for the role of Strephon in the operetta, Iolanthe, held at the Esquimalt High School auditorium.  I learned that I was in fact the only one auditioning for that particular role! One of the good tenors I've seen at the Wednesday night rehearsals is auditioning for a different principal part, and I'm not sure what the other strong tenors were doing.  This took the pressure off only a little, since I still needed to impress the various directors sufficiently to ensure they will not put out another call for auditions.  

Some of us auditioning for principal roles first were asked to practice a short dance routine, led by choreagrapher Leah Moreau (who apparently knows me through cycling, though I don't remember meeting her previously).  This made me feel like I had three or four left feet, but at least I didn't fall over, and there will be time to work on dance moves, which are a minor component of the production. 

Chris Moss, the theatrical director, then had three of us read a speaking part, since there is a substantial amount of speaking in Iolanthe - quite a few lines to memorize altogether. For the actual singing part, Kathleen (can't remember last name) did piano accompaniment.  I can't remember the name of the music director, unfortunately (he hasn't been part of the Gondoliers/Iolanthe stuff we're currently practicing), though he made no comments during the audition.  Chris Moss had me sing my piece, "Good Mother Good Morrow", four times. Each time, he asked me to move around in some different way, and on the last one he asked me to do a little dance with him!  One of the lines in the song is "...I'm to be married today, today, Yes I'm to be married today...", which I accidently transformed into "we're to be married today" when doing the little dance with him!
 
So that was it! Great fun! If they want me, I believe there will be another part to the audition where I'll have to sing a short duet with whomever is selected for the part of Phyllis.  I hope it's the easy duet for that (if indeed they ask me to do it), since there are a couple of more difficult duets that will require a ton of work for me to do them well.   So, I'll see what they say.   

I've decided that if they want me for the role, I will commit to it 100%.  I am at a point in my life when I can let go of serious run/bike/duathlon training for six months.  And there was many a time when I couldn't have said that.  I can still do some training of course, but just not high volume, since practicing for Iolanthe will be three times/week and more in the weeks leading up to the performances - a huge commitment.

But, that's putting the cart before the horse at this point.  First, I'll see what they say.  In the mean time it's back to making sure I can sing the chorus parts for the Gondoliers/Iolanthe pops performance in three weeks!

Passages

Saturday, October 14, 2006

At last I have heard an operatic version of a Stan Rogers song.  This morning on CBC I heard Victoria's own Ken Lavigne sing his rendition of Rogers' "Northwest Passage", a song which some have called Canada's second national anthem.  Many of Rogers' songs lend themselves well to a classical style, in my opinion anyway, and I have heard a few versions of some of Rogers' songs by other folk-type singers who fall far short of exuding the sort of passion that Rogers did.  In my mind the only way for a singer who is not Rogers to do real justice to many of his songs is to sing them classically.  Lavigne's rendition absolutely did "Northwest Passage" justice.
__

After an evening out and about with Demian and Ben yesterday, I slept until about 8:30 am - absolutely wonderful to sleep in a bit.   While still avoiding any running, and upon drawing aside my bedroom curtains and seeing the streets shrouded in fog, I decided to heighten the muted sensation that fog sometimes provokes, and hike up the trails of Mt. Finlayson.

There tucked beneath the canopy of green, nestled among the womb-like low lying cloud, the passages of Mt. Finlayson beckoned.  But by the time I arrived the fog had mostly lifted, and upon  achieving the Mountain pinnacle I was mildly shocked by the sight of the Bear Mountain golf course beside the trail about 2/3 up, which didn't exist the last time I hiked there.  There was a time when Mt. Finlayson seemed remote.  No longer.  Granted, I confess that I would find Bear Mountain  a beautiful spot to live.

Adding to the muted sensation of my hike, was the fact that I've been trying to rest my vocal chords somewhat for my Iolanthe audition tomorrow afternoon. Ordinarily on such a hike when there is no one near, I'd be belting out songs most of the way.  But today I had to resist that temptation and be alone with whatever sounds of nature surrounded me.   Even so, I rehearsed the piece at home, softly, a few times, becoming aware of a couple of flaws I'd unfortunately been engraining into mind, though hopefully I have re-learned those elements properly and they will not rear themselves as flaws tomorrow.  We'll just see what happens.  As it is often said, the only failure is not to try.

So, tomorrow morning I plan an easy ride with Ben, who is just resuming training after a month or so off after the Ironman. 
____________

Ah, for just one time I would take the Northwest Passage
To find the hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea;
Tracing one warm line through a land so wild and savage
And make a Northwest Passage to the sea.

    -- Stan Rogers

Erg distractions

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ten minutes of rowing ergometer work today after 20 mins of easy spinning on the exercise bike has left me wiped!  But it felt so good to do an exercise that used my body in an entirely different way - so much so that I did about four minutes at a hard pace (1:45 per 500m pace equivalent to a 7min 2000m pace). 

It almost made me think about training a bit more for the Monster Erg in January (I think that's when it is), which is also the Canadian Championships held in conjunction with some erg event in Ontario.  The last time I did it, about 3 years ago, I think, I managed 6:44 for 2000m, which is 13s off a qualifying time for the World Championships for the Lightweight 30-39 age category.  Lightweights are 165lbs or under, so if I wanted seriously to make a stab at qualifying, it would do me well to actually gain some muscle mass to generate more power.  But this is not something I want, so I would just have to be content training at 155lbs or less.  Regardless, I didn't really train much for the Monster erg either of the two years I did it (the previous year I did 6:49), and wonder how much time I could take off if I really trained for it. 

On the other hand the qualifying time for the 40-49 category is 6:43.  It will probably be easier for me to wait two more years (as I turn 38 in a week or so) and try for that time, than it will be to shave 13 seconds off my current best time. 

Ergometer rowing is highly complementary to cycling, but it is nearly useless for running, I found.  The one year when I did a couple of months of erg work, I found any attempt at running afterward to be highly unproductive, although I suppose one must train the body to make the transition, just as one does from cycling to running in a duathlon or triathlon, and so presumably it should get easier to do.

Just a few ideas for shaking up the routine a bit for the winter...

A blogger's theme

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Since beginning these blog posts, a year ago in November, I think the longest stretch has passed since posting my last note here - three days.  I think two days was my previous record.

I find blogs an interesting phenomenon: that everyone can make available his or her personal thoughts to the entire world is nothing short of amazing, especially considering it was simply impossible not much more than ten years ago.  A blog is entirely public, and so one must take some care in what he or she says.  One must keep in mind that he cannot defame others, and he must also be sensitive to what others share with him - some of what has been shared may be intended to be entirely private, and so a blogger should be careful not to share information about others that is intended to be private.

And yet a blog is a personal account that does not require the rigours of peer review, polished grammar, nor need it be about a subject chosen by anyone other than the blogger.  And knowing that others may read a blogger's personal account provides a certain motivation to post that might not exist to such a degree if he were writing handwritten notes to a paper diary at his bedside before turning out the lights.  Too, even if a blogger knew for certain that none would ever read his posts, he could write just as if it were entirely a personal bedside paper diary and it would not at all be written in vain.
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The rehearsal this evening was shorter than usual for most of us, while the director worked with the principals.  I'm about 2/3 confident now that I can do this.  I have most of the Gondoliers material down pat, although about 1/2 of the Iolanthe material is still pretty shaky.  We have three more weeks, though, and I am now comfortable that I will have it by then. But there is still some work for me ahead. 

The audition for the full performance of Iolanthe next spring is this weekend.  I've been practicing the piece "Good morrow, Good mother", the required audition piece. It is fairly short, but it is enough to provide those making the decisions with a pretty good sense if they want the person for the role.  Whatever happens, just preparing for and doing the audition itself will be a good experience. 

____________
...
Indeed I will not send this reply,
It is for none other than myself.
I confess that once I was sentry
To the postman's footsteps,
That I waited countless days to hear from you.
...
But I am content to hear no more from you
And I will send myself not one letter more.

    -- Letters to Myself
       ht

Post race notes

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Well, another race is done.  Always fun to be part of the events on Royal Victoria Marathon day, and I enjoyed the experience, despite running slower by over a minute than even my relatively slow predicted time.  

I am happy that I felt smooth and strong through about 12 km, although the quads were gradually tightening from that point onward and I didn't feel like I had the strength to maintain the pace.   I missed my 5km split, but was through 8km in 28.05 and 10k at 35.14, and it seemed comfortable, so I figured 1:14 was realistic at that point. I ran with Nick Hastie and Don King, visiting from Calgary, to about 7km.  Nick pulled away on one of the rises through Beacon Hill park, however.  This was not to be a repeat of my half marathon in Seattle last year when Nick and I ran stride for stride for almost the entire race, and where he outsprinted me at the line for 4th and I was 5th (I think that was it) in about 1:13something (Seattle is a hard course too).  Don King had dropped back for a bit, but then passed me at around 8 km.  Paul Krochak passed me around 10k, and I gradually just lost strength afterward and decelerated. 

As it was several guys passed me from that point on, including Arturo, Brad C., and a couple of other fellows.   I haven't seen the results yet, but I think I was in about 15th place, in 1:16 something.

Overall it wasn't a complete disaster, and I was happy that I felt so good through 10k - it felt a whole heck of a lot better than my run in Nanaimo three weeks ago, although the second half was disappointing.  But I'm glad I did it, and it was great to watch Steve Osadiuk break the Marathon course record by nearly 2 minutes - an amazing run.

So, the plan has been to take a break after this and to rejuvenate.  The question is how long is reasonable.  I think two weeks is longer than mentally I'll be able to handle, but I may be able to manage to the end of next weekend, and to think at that point about building mileage gradually and refocusing for something next year - not quite sure what yet.   Having said all that, since tomorrow is a holiday, if the weather is nice, I will likely go for a group ride for fun!  Then it's definitely rest for the balance of the week after that!

Pre-Half notes

Sunday, October 8, 2006

A few pre-race Half marathon notes, even at just over an hour before 7:30 am race time. Awoke at 5:30 to much moaning and a body not welcoming the early rise.  It is still half asleep, even after coffee, a small bowl of porridge, and the stimulating discussions of Australian radio on CBC (and I mean that seriously, since I find the early morning Australian feed quite interesting and I enjoy listening to their accents).

Heart rate is quite high and, as I sit before the computer, it is pulsing at about 60 bpm, which is high for me - so a bad sign off the start.  It is dark and overcast and, upon poking my nose outside upon the balcony, I've discovered the ground is wet and it is raining very lightly.  A quick check of the temperature online, reveals that it is 10 degrees - right on the threshold temperature below which it is wise to wear tights and above which it is wise not to wear tights.  Lovely, when the temperature is right on the threshold, what do you do?  The fact that it is raining lightly does not make the decision easier - the rain can soak your tights making them heavy and therefore counter-assistive.  On the other hand, legs wetted by cold rain do not warm easily.  In such a situation it may be preferrable to wear shorts, but to rub oil on the legs to reduce the cooling effect of the rain.  Some people use vaseline, although I've never tried that.  I will have to decided soon.

At race-package pick up yesterday, I noticed quite a number of fast runners are running the Half: Jim Finlayson, back from his disappointment at the Berlin Marathon  - he will be the favourite today; Nick Southwell, from Victoria - always good for at least a 1:09; Norm Tinkham from Vancouver; Nick Hastie, triathlete; Jorge Parra, from Vancouver, and several other seeded runners whose names I don't recognize. 

6:30, better get moving.  Race prediction: 1:14.45, placing about 10th.  As much as I'd like to run a 1:12, I really do not think it will happen today.  That is not negative self-talk, but a realistic assessment based on the factors I am facing and how I have been running recently.

The pekidity of pekidness

Thursday, October 5, 2006

At work I was feeling mildly pekid, and was wondering if perhaps I actually had a flu-bug of some sort.  Then I wondered if the general feeling of weakness was due to the fact I didn't eat any supper last night, owing to the Gilbert & Sullivan rehearsal.

My throat was also a tiny bit sore, but that I think was also due to slightly sore vocal chords from the practice yesterday.  My sore vocal chords were compounded by the fact that after I returned home at nearly 10:00, I began practicing a piece for an audition next week for the operetta Iolanthe. They've actually asked me to audition for one of the principle roles (the half-human / half- fairy, Strephon), to which at first I replied they must be very desperate and are really scraping the bottom of the barrell.  I think there are not a lot of people auditioning for the part, and they want a tenor who is younger, so they're somewhat limited in their choices.  There are some very good tenors in the principle roles for the pops concert in November, but I suspect they are not auditioning for the full production of Iolanthe.  Whatever the case, I don't think they would ask me if they didn't think I had some potential for the role.

After going over the audition piece, I think I can at least do the audition and do the specific piece reasonably well.  A part of me actually would like to get the role now, despite requiring attendance at three practices a week for nearly three months, I think they said.  Of course I am not holding out any hope that I will actually get the role, but I may actually be a bit disappointed if and when I don't get it now, even though I had not even remotely considered auditioning for a principle part the day before yesterday.   But it's all good fun.

I did no training yesterday, which was a good thing, since my legs felt better today.  Today I did a 40 minute treadmill run with three or four 2-3 minute efforts at 5:30 pace.  I resisted the temptation to do more, and tomorrow the plan is for no training either.  Saturday will be an easy 30 minutes with a few gentle accelerations, and we'll see if I'm ready for the Half on Sunday.

Winds of day and night

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

This morning on the elevator a man nearly got stuck in the door as it was closing.  "I often get stuck in doors," he said. "Especially going out. Not so much coming in, but often going out for some reason." 

"Yeah, me too," replied another (perhaps it was even I who replied, but of this we may not be certain), "I get stuck indoors a lot too. They won't let me out of my office." 

Lately I've been wondering why it is that we find things funny.  Recently I saw an article that discussed the evolutionary origins of laughter and, upon a google search today, I noticed that the physiological study of laugher has its own name, gelatology.  Why is it that well-chosen words conjuring certain images in a listener's mind can trigger such a strong physiological reaction?  And one that is so pleasurable. As indicated by the existence of gelatology, the subject has been well studied, so it is not so odd to consider the question.  And why are some people's jokes funny to one person and not another? Why does it feel so good to laugh, and generally the more we laugh and smile, the better we feel. 

Well, I don't pretend to have all the answers, and I won't launch into endless diatribulations (to coin a term) and speculations on the topic now, but suffice to say I've been wondering about this in a way that I never have before.  I've always simply taken it for granted that we laugh when things are funny to us - a simple formula.  Yet lately the whole concept of laughter and humour has been mildly curious to me.  

In any event, my legs continued to feel like c-r-a-p, a four letter word (yes, I like to state the obvious, and in fact I do it quite frequently).  So rather than run I thought I would hop the bike and ride for a while instead.  I donned the leg warmers and three layers on top to ensure I remained warm.  Being on the edge of illness, it would be foolish to ride around as if we were still in the middle of July.  

I recalled the Tuesday evening rides are still going, and rode along Dallas toward town until I saw the group approaching, and turned to join them.  With them I ended up going much farther than I planned, and even when I tried to take a shortcut home from Saanich road, I crossed paths with the group again at another point, and so I rode very nearly as far, for a total effort that was just short of two hours. Always a lot of fun to ride with a group, as they do tend to be very social affairs.

My legs felt good on the ride, and perhaps it will help to flush the legs a bit and re-align all their twisted muscle fibres.  I have thought about getting a professional massage a few times, but have just not slotted it into my schedule - and I always wonder what they can do that I can't do myself, though I do  know there is a vast gulf between my home remedy and a professional's handiwork.  As a dentist once said to me regarding a little bit of my own dental work once, "there are no home remedies".
_____________

How the winds are laughing
They laugh with all their might
Laugh and laugh the whole day through
And half the summer's night
  
     -folk song

A hurtin' unit

Monday, October 2, 2006

Whatever may have been ailing me seems not to have materialized into anything serious (yet) which is good, although I don't feel quite out of the woods quite yet.  People at work are hacking up a storm all around me, and the walls are pretty thin.   I don't mind the prospect of getting sick if it forces me to rest, but not the week before a comparatively big race! 

On the other hand my legs feel like c-r-a-p, a four letter word, and I hope they work themselves out by Sunday.  Actually I found today's Frontrunners Clinic workout to be a good little recovery effort: 2 mins of running followed by a minute of walking, for 9 repetitions.  While it was a difficult workout for many of the beginner runners, for me it was a nice way to loosen the gambini (I learned an Italian word not long ago at work), 'cepting that it was cold, and when it came time for the invited physiotherapy/massage therapy guests to demonstrate some interesting stretches for the group, my gambini were tighter than vices and I was worried something important might snap.  Nothing did, fortunately, but it was definitely touch and go for a while and I was even pretending to stretch when I really wasn't, and that was hurting me too.

So, let's see how the gambini (it is a great word) feel tomorrow.

Absent vits

Sunday, October 1, 2006

After a solid night's sleep, I actually awoke to find myself wondering if I might be sick.  My lungs were feeling tight, and once or twice I coughed rather raspily.  I regretted not replenishing my supply of EmergenC packets on Friday when I used the last of them, as I would ordinarily have taken one immediately after my run yesterday, which, owing to their absence, I could not do. 

So I thought I would be doing no running at all today.  But after some sugar and oats (beautiful oats!) and caffeine coursed through my veins, I began to feel better and set into a little vacuuming, cleaning generally and laundry.   After a couple hours of that I decided I might as well go for a run, thinking perhaps if I just kept the pace easy, whatever ailed me would be burned off by the end of it. 

At the lakes I bumped into Don Eby, doing a final test-the-achilles long-ish run before he runs the marathon next weekend. We ran together at a relaxed pace for a loop and 5 additional kms.  Admittedly I did not feel great, but I am not certain if I am fighting something or if it's just some general fatigue.  Gee, maybe I'll be just sick enough to phone in sick tomorrow...(I doubt it, but one can always hope!).
______________________

The Accident

The gypsy cyclist opened his eyes, found a pinprick sun with white razor shards of blinding light slashing at his eyes. Immediately he turned his head away, squinting.  He groaned, instinctively reached for his head; his helmet was still in place and strapped beneath his jaw, but deep fissures crossed it on the top and when he grasped his hand over and wiggled it, whatever tenuous connections held it in one piece to then were broken.  With his clutching hand the helmet moved inconsistently, non-uniformly across his scalp; like boats floating on a pond it was shattered into three pieces. 

He touched his left hip; it was painful to the touch.  He looked around the roadside where he lay and there, flat on the road, splayed perpendicularly to the yellow centre line, lay his bicycle, twisted and mashed into an unrecognizable form.  Upon seeing it there, whatever pains were awakened in his body numbed instantly as all the synapses in his brain ceased firing and everything around him momentarily disappeared: the green blades of grass over which he peered instantly whitened, faded, and the blinding sun vanished from the sky.

The gypsy cyclist had fainted...